Monday, May 14, 2012

Let's Just Be

I had a great weekend.  Mini stayed with his dad Friday night through Sunday night.  I stayed with Crab Friday through Sunday.  I went home to shower and change but for the most part I was with him the entire weekend.

I can't say just how nice it was!

I finally met his ex wife.  That was nice.  She was incredibly nice and told me how much she's heard about me and how much the kids like me.  And I finally met Little Crab.  He is a sweet sweet kid and gave me a nice hug! And so did the ex.  Only thing is that I had been just laying down when she came by.  Crab wasn't home so I was just chilling watching TV looking like exactly what I was doing.  I would have like to at least look decent.  But she was nice and gave me like 5 hugs.

So anyway, I had a perfect weekend.  I love that something so simple is so wonderful.  There's this Miguel song Just Be that I love. It's just about laying around doing nothing together.  Just being.  And it used to make me cry because I never did that with someone.  And it means everything to me to Just Be with him.  Everything.

Day 12 - Something I don't leave home without

I don't leave the house without

My Cell Phone - I feel off balance without it
My Lip Gloss
Dentyne Ice - Peppermint. I'm addicted!

Day 11 A quote that I love

My daddy always says to me

When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hold on!

Day 10 something I'm afraid of

Ok My bad I gotta catch up for yall I'm sorry.

Something I'm afraid of

I think it's pretty much the same thing as most parent.  I'm afraid of something happening to my son.  I want him to live a long healthy life.

The other day we were walking and I switched him to the inside of the sidewalk and he says...

You did that so that I wouldn't get hit by a car?

M: Yeah.  If a car jumped the curb I'd want it to hit me before it hits you

But then you'll die :(

So I explained to him how I'd lived so much of my life already and he has a lot more living to do than me.  But a car is ptobably not going to jump the curb and hit either of us but just in case I want to make sure he still gets to do all thing things I've already gotten to do.

On the news the other day I saw a video where a woman was walking into a store with her 4 year old daughter and is attacked and she runs.  WITHOUT her daughter.  could never be me.  Never.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Get Right

Yes Yes Day 9 is coming... Another picture... Geesh! Killing me

Anyway.  I've decided I gotta get 100% right with what I'm doing.  First of all, I've been very gray area like with Homeboy.  I play games to keep things open if...  that's not right.

 So I'm gonna keep it 100% with him and really say...

"OK cool.  Listen we are gonna stop playing this game.  You play games with me, I play games with you, but now games over.  At least on my end.  I'm finished and not because you frustrate me, it's because I have a relationship with Crab which I think you could probably tell."

This is something that Crab had a problem with.  The reasons I would give Homeboy for not being with him.  He knew I would tell Homeboy that i he (Homeboy) just doesn't do right by me. But what he wanted was for me to tell Homeboy that I couldn't be with him because I 'm with Crab.  But, I was like "Whatever. I said something and that's enough."

But I realize now it's not enough.   Because without the truth we keep slipping in and out of "talking".  So at this point I am doing what most of us women hate about men.  I play both sides of the fence.   So my new reason for not dealing with other people is because I'm in a relationship. Which is something I need to tell other dude too. (This dude from highschool that has been trying to get at me)  Mostly I just avoid him and tell him I'm busy because he's definitely my type so I don't want to get into any sticky situations because AS WE KNOW I tend to get myself into sticky situations.

One thing I can say is that Crab LOVES ME!  He loves me all Jill Scott Especially Different like. And I FEEL it.  And I'm gonna let him!

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Day 8 Somewhere I've traveled and somewhere I want to Travel

Somewhere I've traveled


No where special.  I went to Jamaica once as a child.
Other than that I've just been up and down the east coast and to St. Louis to visit my brother.  When I was little we used to go on vacation with 2 other families every summer and I really can't say where the destinations were.  They were always HEAVILY educational trips.  And then on the way back we always spent at least one night at Baltimore Harbor before heading back to NJ.

Although we hated all of the educational tours we took these trips were so fun! There were 6 kids total (remember Buddha from my first loves, he was one). We ALWAYS stayed in an Embassy Suites and in the morning we would go have the free breakfast and the adults would say "Bulk up because this is it until dinner!"  Then at night we'd always go to a good restaurant.  Then we'd all get put into one hotel room and our parents would go to the bar and drink and we'd just have fun.  I appreciate those trips! Memories.  

I always look at Mini when we're doing special things and think "I'm making his memories!" and that makes me feel good!

I can't really say where I want to go.  But this weekend I was with my friend Sweetie and we decided to do the same with our boys.  So sometime this summer we will take a trip to DC and Baltimore Harbor with the boys!  I've already done Disney with Mini and I personally don't think it's something I would want to do repeatedly.  I think I want him to see lots of different cities, museums, stuff you know?  So as far as travel, I just want to take my son all over!


When I have to do those verification things when I comment on blogs I always make up meanings for the "words"

This morning at Freckles spot I saw this

traelocu mentyuic
This is someone who is very crazy and neurotic

Monday, May 7, 2012

Day 7 What Makes Me Happy

This Challenge really is a challenge for me

What makes me happy is such a hard question because I spend a majority of my time trying to make other people happy.

This is a hard one.

I know I'm completely and totally content when I'm with Crab watching movies/tv.  Totally content.  The rest of the world and my problems and worries are nonexistent. I don't know of anything that has ever made me feel as peaceful.

But that's not happy is it?  That's at peace.

I feel happy when I see my son happy.  I guess that's what makes me happy.  Making my son happy!
See.  It made me smile to think of it.  So yeah.  There it is.  To see my son happy.

Day 6 Pet Peeves

This is a simple one.  SO SIMPLE

It irks my nerves like nothing else when people pronounce the word salmon


Oh..... It's like nails on a chalk board.

You know what else I don't like, people who complain when we go out
Oh I don't like the music.
Oh this is boring.
Oh the drinks are too expensive.
Are you ready to go?



Shopping with people who look and try on and put back and like the dress but not this part of the dress and don't like that but they do like that...
I go into a store with purpose.  I pick up a shirt.  I pick up a pair of paints.  I walk to the register.  I leave.  The whole process takes about 15 to 20 minutes TOPS.  I prefer to shop alone because I have no tolerance for browsers and pickyness.  None what so ever.


Shut up when I'm driving and stop giving me directions.
Crab will give me turn by turn directions going places where we live.  Like Ummm I know how to get to Target.  I've lived here MY ENTIRE LIFE! He even tells me it's ok to go when I'm at a stop sign.  It is the point of time when I'm least in love with him.  If we were talking about most in love and least in love.  Least in love is when he's in the passenger seat of my car.


Well yeah, that's all I can really think of.

Oh and people who try and finish my words as I talk.  That feels so awkward to me. Isn't that weird?

Yeah.  That's it.


First and foremost I totally didn't back out of the challenge.

I can't think of a song that inspires me so I'm still working on that AND, I did something funky on my laptop that put up firewalls that I couldn't get down for a various number of reasons.


He broke me.  He broke me.  Like one of those wild horses... I've been broken.  I totally felt love in connection with physical.  It was so awesome in the true sense of the word awesome.  I'm awed.  In awe...

Like you know those Hallmark presents movies...
There's a ranch,
And a ranch hand
And a troubled person that comes to the ranch.
And a wild horse that needs to be broken.
And the troubled person discovers themselves
And the ranch hand and the troubled person fall in love.  Usually in the rain or something.
And somewhere in between all of this the wild horse gets broken...

Yeah.  All that happened yesterday while I was at Crabs house.

But there was just me and Crab
And The 40yo Virgin Playing
And I had a shot of Grey Goose Cherry Noir (not impressed by the flavor.  It's unnecessary)
And he had a glass of wine (Menage Trois)
And then there was a porn (Bella Donna - she's my favorite)
And then
I made love for real for real

Apparently Crab does not particularly appreciate me telling everything so...

I'll just say it was goooood!

Friday, May 4, 2012

Day 4 My Parents

My mother is
Sensitive (to her feelings)

My father is
A terrible listener
Down to earth
Laid Back
A terrible listener
Closed Minded
A Playboy
Loved by many
A terrible listener

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Day 3 My First Love(s)

Day 3 My first love

Well I'm not sure what was first and what was love.

There was Buddah a family friend of ours.  Our moms are BEST friends.  Like, those best friends that can't stand each other but love each other so much that they just deal with each other.  It's bizarre.  Anyway.  I loved Buddah.  He was so cute to me.  He was fat but I still thought he was really cute.  On my 5th birthday I decided I wanted to kiss him so what I'd do was kiss everyone after I opened their gift.  So of course the first gift I opened was Buddah's.  It was barbie doll clothes.  A leopard print dress with some hot pink heals. I gave Buddah a kiss on the cheek and then everyone was all "ooooooohhhhh...." then the next gift was from this dude Strings.  I looked at him and scrapped the whole kissing thing.  I'd already gotten what I wanted.  He was my date to the wedding I went to last summer.  Y'all remember that.  The one Crab was supposed to go with me to?  He was sweet.  He came straight from a flight from Paris.  I had on a dress.  He had on Jeans and an NYPD Tshirt and
Yankees cap.  But that was OK (pretty much everyone there we'd grown up with so no one cared).  He showed up for me and that meant A LOT!  I was mortified that Crab had basically stood me up so Buddah (who knows Crab) really made it better. Buddah swept in and saved the day.  He even held my hand!

Then there's Clog.  Again a family friend.  At cookouts when it would get dark, we'd always sneak of and sit under trees where no one could see and hold hands.  Just hold hands. That's it.  But he was special to me. He is LOADED now.  He's an extremely successful Real Estate Broker in the city.  LOADED!  He also acts very gay but has a girlfriend.

Then there is Bishop.  My high school sweetheart from 15.  I met him at an Essex Catholic party.

There were Three major all boys private schools
St. Benedict's - The Upper Middle Class Boys.  From the usual clique of Dr, Lawyer, Bankers kids that I grew up with.  My brother went to Benedict's.
Seton Hall Prep - White Boy private school. Homeboy went there.
Essex Catholic - The Bad Boys.  The Hood of private schools.

Bishop and I danced all night all nasty grindy like.  And he had on Joop.  From that night on we were a pair.  I still messed with other people and so did he but we still loved each other.  He was the first dude I blessed with my gift and I guarantee you I was good that first time.

Well we did this off again on again thing all through high school.  I really did love him though.  He was a year older so he went to college before me.  He was REALLY smart.  Straight A student.  But he was cool and got mad respect.  And he was bald during the ONYX days (Slam!  duh duh duh..) Anyway  So he went away to college and stupid me went a lost my virginity to someone else.  I told him.  It was terrible.  He forgave me eventually but said he'd never take me back.  Years and years later we ended up messing around but he still never took me seriously.  Then he found a girlfriend and stopped speaking with me.  But I loved him.  I'll always love him

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Look quick!

Yeah so here's that recent picture I owed y'all.  I'm gonna take it down tomorrow though so enjoy.   And there is one person who follows me that knows me and has no idea that its me so if you see this... um. Keep you mouth shut dawg or my dude will lay you out!




I wonder if employers really believe that what they are asking is reasonable or are they just like..

FUCK IT!  I don't give a fuck if this shit is realistic or not.  I'm just gonna demand it and watch them struggle like fishes out of water!

I feel like I've been hit with a tsunami.

Day 2 Nicknames

Well I've never really had a nickname.

My mom calls me MooMoo.  I think it has less to do with me and more to do with something when she was growing up because her childhood friends call their daughters MooMoo too.

The people at my Job call me Missy.  My Job ID  looks like Missy so people just call me that.

Everyone else just calls me by name.

My brother called me Jellybean growing up.  But it wasn't nice.  It was his version of Retard.

I am known to some as Demon.  Also courtesy of my brother.  Every time I did something that got on my brother and his friend's nerves or said something stupid or uncool or whatever they would say "DEMONDRY!" Recently I ran into one of his friends who then explained to the girl he was with that I was the "original" Demon who insipred the term "Demondry".


Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Day 1

Day 1 Introduction, Recent Picture and 15 Interesting Facts

1. I can twist my arm around and scratch my own back.
2. I love candy.  Not chocolate.  CANDY.  Candy candy candy.  Like a kid, I love it.
3. I throw up a lot.  The following things make me throw up.  Processed Cheese, hot dogs, any type of    melon, milk
4. I am an artist.  That's who I am on the inside.  On the outside I am a Real Estate Analyst. I wish I had two more hands I'd give my job 4 thumbs down.
5. I wear gray and black A LOT!
6. I used to have a huge shoe collection.  Then my husband threw out one of each shoe.
7. I'm extremely anemic and have to have I.V. therapy once a week.
8. I smoke but will never let anyone see me smoke so most people have no idea b/c I hide it like crazy.  I'm ashamed of it.
9.  I hate amusement parks.  Just not my thing, you know.
10. I hate sand and being in the sun, thus I don't like beaches.
11. I love vodka and I like it straight.
12. I write how talk.  Exactly.  So sometimes my sentences sound awkward but I'm from Jersey.  We have our own way of talking that doesn't necessarily translate into writing.
13. I live about 20 minutes outside of Manhattan and I almost never go into the city.
14.I'm cheap.  Like super cheap!
15. I'm messy!

Another Challenge for me to eff up on!

The freckles put out a challenge and since I have been quiet lately I think I will do it

I always fuck up challenges tough yall know this

But hear goes...