Wednesday, December 31, 2014


We went into attorney review today for that second deal.   It's just an absolutely wonderful way to start the New Year.

On another note... can I complain for a minute?  I've got to get this out.

It burns me up that Crab is in the bed all the time.  Like he's laying down every second of the day except for the hour that he's at the gym.  It's so annoying.  I work like a dog and regardless of whether someone is trying to get a job or not seeing them laying down ALL THE EFFING TIME can wear on a hardworking person's nerves.  When I call him and he's asleep, or complains about being tired it's soooooooo annoying!

Thank you.
I needed to get that it out!

I understand he's depressed. But come on... at least sit upright.

Friday, December 26, 2014

Back in business!

Just because I know you all were just SO WORRIED about my first dead deal...

I performed CPR and then was all like


Shocked it


Shocked it

And found dude a mortgage

Thump Thump
Thump Thump
Thump Thump

That's the sound of my deal coming back to life.

Wednesday, December 24, 2014


New day and I'm regrouping  I went to the office did a bit of work.  I went home and took a nap. I was up until about 4 am with nervous energy.  Since I was stressing I had to think of a new marketing plan to make me feel proactive. I gave my client some Mortgage Providers I keep in my pocket to see if we can try and save this deal.

So I thought of a new marketing Strategy.  It's a project but I think I should have a big portion done tonight.  I told VIP and he was like


So I think my sleepless night wasn't for naught!

Since I'm in a feast or famine business and I'm just now working my way out of famine there will be no Christmas.  It's sad.  I feel sad for MINI but he knows that as soon as I close a deal he is going to get spoiled rotten! He's not going out empty handed  He's getting gifts from my parents.

I feel pretty fucked up about it

I can't sleep. This shit is UN FUCKING REAL!


I'm sick. $10,000 out the window.

Another $10,000 barely hanging by a thread.

Real estate is a tough business. I was talking to another agent yesterday about how it's not a job. It's a lifestyle. Her sister died and none of could show up to the funeral because it was in the middle of the day on a Saturday. Saturday's are days to make money.

I can't believe my income for the next few months is gone!  It's gonna be a hungry winter. Literally

Tuesday, December 23, 2014


2 deals dead today.

Terrible Day

Deal #1 I saw it happening.  I could see something was wrong.  The really fucked up thing about it is I had both sides of the deal.  That's double commission.  My buyer was using a private lender.  At first things were going well.  Now we're a week away from closing and the lenders haven't been returning calls.  I was getting nervous, the buyer was getting nervous so today I googled the company and the name and here is what I found

This is terrible.  This is 5 FUCKING figures gone!  Gone!  I have an irate seller now and a heartbroken  buyer.

Deal#2 was another 5 figure commission. The sellers took my clients deal even though it was $15000 less.  But my buyers were offering $951,000 on a $999,000 house.  And the sellers took our deal over a $975,000 offer because my buyers don't have a home sale contingency.  I WORKED THE SHIT OUT OF THIS DEAL.  Only thing the sellers asked for was to move the date of the closing up 2 weeks.  My client (well the wife) would not budge!  2 weeks.  2 fucking weeks.  And I'm out $10,000.

VIP took me out for a drink.  He was supposed to have dinner with his in-laws but because I was gut punched twice in a day he was kind enough to tell his inlaws he was going to be late and took me out for some booze!

So at 9:00 I called the seller's agent and told her no dice on date.  She said she'll let me know what happens.

If we can't make a deal I am down a total of $20,000.





Monday, December 22, 2014

You're my little secret... Xscape circa 1998

You guys are like my best kept secret!  I used to wonder how I would survive without you.  Now I know how difficult it is without an outlet to express myself freely. The anonymous readers, the ones who comment, the lurkers...  You all provide me with a place I can say exactly what I feel without worrying about how my true honest feelings would be perceived.

I remember I went to therapy once and I was still trying to maintain certain images.  Trying not to be perceived as this or that.  With you all I am just me.  Whatever I am thinking.

Last time I let Crab know I was blogging.  It was cool.  He respected the boundary until eventually curiosity got the best of him,  As it would anyone.  If he told me that he had a blog that I couldn't see I'd definitely go on a mission to find it.

This time around I'm telling NO ONE!

So anyway I wanted to express my sincere appreciation for having you all to lay myself out to "warts and all".

Positive Vibes

I don't know what it was.  I don't know if it was his fresh haircut, or his big ol muscles in that shirt he had on last night or the Johnny Walker Black that I drank but I looked at Crab last night while I was at work and told him he was gonna get it!  His wait was over.

Let me tell you.  I usually get home, change my clothes, roll up my hair, put on my bonnet (yup  you know the bonnet) and I'm out snoring with my mouth open, dead to the world OUT LIKE A LIGHT.  I'm so tired and the very thought of sex is on the same accord as "Do you want to clean out the garage?"  I just don't feel like it.  EVER.

But I think it's causing issues.  We go for months and months lately.  And it's fine with me.  But I think it's really starting to get to him.  But he does things (or doesn't do things depending on how you want to look at it) that hurt the relationship as well.  When we talk about it it usually ends up with a fight.  So I decided to change my approach.

No talking.
I decided to start leading by example.  Fixing the issues he has with me to encourage him to fix the issues I have with him.

I've started saying positive things.  It's often be followed by a sarcastic remark by him but I've begun to just smile and tell him "I'm not going down the negative road with you.  Only speaking positively about our relationship right now!"

And I see it working.  Yesterday I said something positive and he was about to say something smart... his mouth was open and he shut it! He stopped himself!  He had a little smirk and I said "Hey I saw what you did there!  Good Job!"  And he laughed and I laughed.  Whatever he might have said might had ended up with me grabbing my slow cooker and storming out the door.

Sidebar - That's what I do when I'm mad.  I grab all the meat and the slow-cooker and make a dramatic exit!

So my taking the high road, Martin Luther King non-violent approach seems to be doing well!

And so he got head.

And he was happy.

And I chose a little glass dildo over the actual act.  Compromise.  I am the quicker one so it only takes about 2-3 minutes for me and then I can go to sleep.  He got what he wanted and I got what I wanted plus a bonus Big O!

Sunday, December 21, 2014



Crab is watching football and he's talking to me like I'm watching the game with him.  That's like if I was watching YouTube and was like

"This girl contoured her nose all wrong" and looked at him and expected a response!

What do you want me to say?


I have to go to work in a minute but wanted to get my blog on for a quick second.  I'm bartending until my money becomes bore steady with VIP.

I'm just going to write little tidbits for you because I gotta boogie!

Crab's son visited.  I'm pretty sure Crab doesn't like my son very much.  Which is insane cause my son is a sweetheart who EVERYBODY loves.  I think it's some sick jealousy.  But anyway now that his son is gone I know for the next few days I'm going to have to hear him talking about his son like he's a young Jesus Christ.  Sigh....

I hate bartending so much.

I have no interest in sex anymore and Crab is getting antsy.  It's been months since we've done anything.  I'm cool with it though.  Shit I'm tired.  I work 2 jobs.  Two very hard jobs.  It is what it is.

And now I have to go get dressed to go to the bar.


I hate it!

Well that's it for now.

I'll try an hit you guys up tomorrow.

Company Christmas party and Crab's coming!

OMG  remind me to give you guys the rundown of the people at work.  Especially LOCO.  This chick is CAAAA-RAAAAY-ZEEEEEEE!!!!

Monday, December 15, 2014

I Deserve (In My Momma Dee voice)

I'm so tired.  I had such a busy day.  I try not to work on Mondays but today I did enough for 3 days worth of work.  It's 10pm and I know VIP is waiting to speak with me to plan our week but....  I don't feel like talking business.  I work 7 days a week.  Every week.  Some days I just don't want to.  Today is one of those days...

I think Crab just got home from the gym.  I'm not telling him that I've started blogging again.  When he read the blog before and got mad  it totally stole something from me.  It felt like "Can't I have ANYTHING for myself?"

So now... I'll blog in the incognito tab.  changed passwords.  All that good stuff.

I deserve an outlet.

Random: Love and Hip Hop is a stupid stupid show.

Sunday, December 14, 2014

Di Miserables and The Dream

I started a new career last year.  I think  I told you about that.  First with MD.  That went downhill fast.  I finally got my head on straight and went to a reputable company.  the last few months have been a bit of a dream.  This is how it happened....

Cue dream sequence wavy lines style circa 1990 sitcom

So I started at W in November of last year.  It was another try at what I assumed would be my next failure.  2 weeks into joining the company I went to the yearly awards brunch.  My thought was "Why am I even going to this shit.  I probably won't even last here 2 months".  While they were giving awards there was this tall gorgeous dark haired guy... let's call him VIP who got ALL of the award.

The award for greatest dollar volume goes to ....  VIP
The award for most number of transactions goes to.... VIP
The award for most listings goes to.... VIP

And on and on and on

I truly was in awe of this guy.  He was like 6'4.  Thick Jet black hair and piercing hazel eyes.  And he seemed so nice!

Well I found out that he and his mother worked as a team.  Their signs were ALL OVER on the most expensive houses in the area.  I was so envious.  I so wanted to be on the team.  But they were a mother and son team, THE VIP TEAM.  So that was a never!

So I worked like a dog last year.  Doing everything I could to make a name for myself.  Everything I could to be seen as a hard worker.  One day my office Manager  JDUB called me and said he got a call from VIP.  He needs someone to do a favor for him.  Would I be willing.  Uh YEAH!!!!  Of course.
It was nothing big.  Just an Open House.  So I did my very best.  And guess what.  He was impressed.  He asked again and again and again.  I never got to meet him, but he got to know my name!  One day I walk into the office and there are red carpets leading towards the entrance and balloons.  When I got inside I asked what it was all about.

"VIP is coming by the office.  Apparently JDUB had told him if he'd switch offices to ours he'd roll out the red carpets for him."

Everyone rolled their eyes.  Except for me! I was so excited!  I was finally going to get to meet VIP in person!  And I did.
And it was anticlimactic.
He said he's stop by to talk to me before he left.  I don't think he ever did that day.

Then one day JDUB called

J:  Listen  VIP wants to know if you can be his assistant on his team.  He'll pay you 20 hours per week.  Think about it and let me know.
M:  I don't need to think about it.  Yes!

This meant a lot of inside information on building a successful business for myself!  Of course I want to know what and how he does what he does.

So with the very first meeting VIP, JDUB, MOMMA VIP and I sat in a room.  We discussed some of the things that I'd be doing for him and then MOMMA VIP spoke...

"It's not going to work like this.  She'll be seeing too much sensitive information"

My heart stopped.  It was over all before it began.

"She needs to be on THE VIP TEAM."

If my heart had started beating again it stopped again.  On the team?  On THE VIP TEAM?  WHAT?!  My dream was to be a part of this team!  I tried to just play it cool. Nodded my head.

As we left the meeting I shook MOMMA VIP's hand and said "I look forward to working with you." to which she replied

You won't be working with me.  I just retired.  You and VIP are the team now."



I swear to you this sounds like some lifetime movie shit and it's not it's true.  I'm living my dream. Money is starting to roll in and I can see my financial future looking very very bright!

On another note.  Crab still isn't working.


I don't mind so much.  I know he's been trying.  Or not.  Who knows....

I don't like him very much right now.  Almost not at all

I love him.

But I don't like him

More later....

Saturday, January 4, 2014


Longtime no write to!   Well since I last wrote I have realized MD is the devil's spawn, Started a new career and basically have become and old married couple with CM.  Al we do is old married people stuff but....


Yup.  Good ol whining crying unhappy depressed "No such thing as love" Diana is actually happy in my relationship.  Me and Crab are great!  It's funny because the other day me and Crab were talking and I mentioned about how the only reason Homeboy ever came to be was because Crab didn't want to commit,  And he said

What you failed to understand is that it already was.  I didnt thin there was a need to formally SAY we were together because we WERE together.  Didn't we do everything like a couple.  So in my opinion it was understood we were,

I was like


Not me. **shrug**

So as happy as I am I still need you guys!  I need to vent!  I need to have someone I can tell "Crabs OCD gets on my nerves"  or "I just want to cook WITH onions every now and then.

Anyway... I'm off to go check and see what you party people have been up to in my absence!