Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Yeah update on that. I'm Good. I'm with Crab. Regardless of title's. That's my dude and that's that. No more back and forth and maybe I should or blah blah blah. I realize I'm happiest when I'm not trying to figure out why when who where. I'm happiest when I love him the way I want to and don't worry about anything other than the love I give and the love I receive from him. He loves me and I feel it. Never felt it before in my entire life. At least not consistently so. I like it!
I've missed you all so much and must spend my day catching up on what's going on in the lives on my blog besties. So hopefully I get a whole lot of commenting in somewhere today!
Friday, May 13, 2011
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
So DB's in a good place right now. Yaaaaaaaaay.
So everyday I tell Crab about my friend. He thinks I should tell y'all about her. I don't even know what to call her. The first thing that comes to mind (and the only thing) is FuckUp. She is just constantly fucking up. But we will call her MzP short for Miss Piggy (nickname courtesy of Crab) she has been fired time and time and time... um and time again. She has three kids none of whom live with her. Ever. Like, the kids say they want to live with her and then they move in for a month or two and then they go back to the grandmother or whoever they were with because the situation is always fucked up.
The strange thing is she doesn't see the absolute fuckedupedness of her life. To her its normal for something to always be turned off. Or to meet men in stupid situations or deal with losers. For instance she is on the later end of her thirties and she recently said to me about a dude she was dating
"He has his own place". I was like HE'S SUPPOSED TO. THAT IS NOT A POSITIVE. THAT IS LIKE A NON CREDIT COURSE. You gotta take it to satisfy requirements but your not gonna earn any credits towards your degree. If he is almost 40, or above it, an apartment is standard!
Well her newest thing lately is running out of gas on her way home from work. She does this a few times a week. A few weeks ago she calls me from work saying how she doesn't know how she's gonna get home blah blah blah... now shed just started this running out of gas shit so I immediately drove a half hour to her job to give her some money for gas. Then it became habitual. She calls me everyday at around 6 and it became a reoccuring convo.
Omg I have 0 miles to go.
Me - How far are you?
About 13 miles. I better pull over and call ~insert random dude's name~ and have him bring me some gas.
So this happens often. So today she calls and im almost home and she's having random convo then she's all
Girl I got 0 miles. You might have to come out here on 22.
I was all... uh uh. I dont have any money.
So she's like That's ok I'll leave my car here you can just come get me.
I was like uh uh.... I can't ride out the rest of my gas for the week coming to get you. Why the fuck do you keep doing this? Why don't you ask one of your dudes for money the night before. This is fucking ridiculous. I gotta budget my gas and if I need money I get it before there is a problem. Not just run out of gas. Like the only reason you should run out is if the gauge doesn't work and you had no idea.
I think she was mad. I told her to call me when she got home.
You best believe this bitch keeps some good quality hair tho. She ain't got no gas but she got weave stock piled.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Resisting possibilities gets disappointing. Nights are getting longer. The silence is becoming deafening. Minutes are like hours when your waiting on someone who is not coming.
I'm want to be ready for a breakthrough. But I'm just not yet. But something is on the horizon. I can barely see it, but I know its there.