Friday, May 13, 2011

You know what?

On second thought...  I'm feeling the whole Nostalgia Ultra Mixtape.  I love it when I hear an artist that I can connect to the words on a deeper level.  Like that first meeting spark when you think like "I can get this person, and I think they can get me."  That's how his music makes me feel.  Like we could hang out.  But I think he'd totally make me a slacker.  Like we'd spend too much time drinking beer and smoking for me to handle my business.
You know.  I was that girl once you know.  I was the girl all other girls didn't like.  A little bit tomboyish and no one can figure out if I'm a peice of trash screwing all the guys I hang with or if I'm just a reject to normal standards of female soialization.  And I was just a reject.  I had girl friends.  But I preferred guys.  It was just easier.  I didn't feel pretty.  So when you hang with all guys you don't have to be pretty cause chances are you are the prettiest anyway by default.  And then when you hang with guys who are like slackers there's no pressure.  Life is just life.  Nobody's is trying to get ahead or be better.  We're all just trying to get nice...  That part of my life was good.  Until I realized I'd fucked up pretty bad being a slacker and then I snapped out of it.  But by then I'd failed out of school and had to get a job at Sears.  Thus began the struggle to right my wrongs.
A story for another day....