So.... I know I must go deeper into what I told you yesterday so....
I got very angry at work one day. Told them exactly what was on my mind. I took a huge leap of faith and decided I wasn't going back. As some of you know I'm in real estate, but not sales. So I decided to go get my license. I saw a friend of mine doing well and decided to try my hand at it.
This is where MD comes into the picture. He's a successful broker. I'd always asked him if I were to get my license would he hold it for me. One cannot simply have a license. You have to have a broker who holds it. You don't necessarily have to be actively working but you do have to have an "employing broker". So it was always understood that he would hold my license for me. Even Crab was aware.
When I decided not to return to my job ever ever never ever I
A. Had a mini breakdown for a few weeks
B. Enrolled in class to get my license
C. Called MD and asked him to give me a job.
He said of course and welcomed me with open arms. Crab, not a happy camper. At all. At all.
But frankly, he's still not working. We're going on TWO YEARS.
I am so stressed and stretched to my financial limit.
My ex hasn't paid child support in God knows when.
I really don't care who doesn't like it.
So yeah. I'm working with/for MD.
For those who weren't around during my MD days let me go into that.
So when Crab was so adamant about not being in a committed relationship I always kept my options open. And one night those options came in the form of Mr Dangerous. MD is one of my lodge brothers. I never liked him. He was rude, flashy, arrogant and wild. I ran into MD one night while I was at The Spot where Crab was a bartender. Crab was working that night and saw me arguing with someone. MD. He had said something rude about my marriage. I think he'd said "From what I heard you're better off". I still was pretty devastated so I took that to heart. He apologized and then told me he was interested in PIC (my best friend) he asked if he could call me about her. I said fine. When he called...
MD: I don't want your friend. I want you. I've always liked you.
M: Well I don't like you so....
MD: Ok. Well give me a chance to change your mind about me. Let me make you dinner.
(talking talking talking....)
I accepted his offer.
So I go over his house and he starts to cook. I'm sitting there watching. He's talking all the while calling me Mrs Dangerous.
I asked when was the last time he'd been in a relationship and he said "right now" and gave me a hug and that's where it began. No lie... No lie... When our bodies touched it was like an immediate undeniable unexplainable electric connection. When he and I touch it's like our souls touch. I know this sounds dramatic but all the drama I put pales in comparison to the actual feeling.
I went from sitting on a stool in the kitchen to on the bed with my pants off and him inside of me in a matter of seconds.
And then, just as fast as it happen I came back to reality, I pushed him off, pulled on my pants and took off like a bat out of hell. He must have thought I was crazy.
I don't know how I ended back there but I did. That time I spent the night. I remember because the next morning he took me riding on his motorcycle and I had on stilettos (which is very unsafe). I remember my outfit. I looked super sexy! I digress. The sex with MD was amazing. I'd never physically connected with someone like I did with him. When we were together our bodies moved together perfectly. Perfectly. And he made me feel so sexy. One time in the middle of making love to me he picks me up, stands up, still inside me mind you, walks over to the mirror and says "look... I wanted you to see how sexy you are". Omg.... This man....
Well one day I went over his house for a fight party he was throwing in the back yard. Maybe like thirty minutes into being there out from the house stomps this screaming yelling chick in boxers, a t shirt and a head scarf. She's yelling about she didn't say he could have company. He's yelling back about about how it's his house....
When was the last time he was in a relationship? Right now...
I'd thought he was joking. You know like when he'd call me Mrs. Dangerous....
So things continued for a short time afterwards. Crab was very upset. But here's the thing. Crab had no (and truth be told still has no) interest in sex with me. He didn't (and still doesn't) even touch me. But still I loved him and didn't like upsetting him. So between that and realizing MD was in a relationship I stopped messing with MD.
But I never stopped thinking about him. Missing him.
We would occasionally text hellos. But I avoided him.
And now... I'm with him daily... I don't really know what to say about that right this very minute.
I know that this conversation occurred...
MD: What is it with us? I've always felt it was Kismit.
M: I know what you mean. But I never knew you felt it too. I wondered if it was something between us or just you. Is it just what you did to me.
MD: How can you say that and deny what you do to me? I think I married the wrong woman. I think im in love with you.