Ok very quickly on the Crab thing cause it's boring I guess. Sex has always been not existent. We have sex like once every 5 months or so. Every now and then we might have a month when we have sex a few times. His excuse is I don't talk enough. I tried. Still no sex. So at this point I don't care. I don't even want it. I told him last night what we have is a friendship.
He "broke up" with me because I still talk to Homeboy every now and then. I just have a real hard time with people telling me what to do. The worst way to get me to do what you want me to do is to demand it.
With Homeboy, Crab always said how Homeboy couldn't have loved me and how Homeboy was just a player. But you know what...? Homeboy does care for me and he is THE OPPOSITE of a player. Crab said he wanted me to tell him not to call me anymore. But we are friends. He calls to see how I'm doing every now and then.... I call to see how he's doing every now and then... I'm not telling him that. And the number one reason why? Crab had not done enough to be a man to me. How do I look letting a man who I'm not even having sex with tell me who I can and can't be friends with. NOT GONNA HAPPEN.
So he broke up with me. But he's still right here on my couch so.....
Ok. So MD. When we had our thing before I was very careful not to have ANY feelings for him. None whatsoever. He was merely penis. The best penis I have ever encountered ever in my existence. I became totally addicted to it. Once I found out he was in a relationship I still did it/him. Brazenly. I made no apologies. I couldn't stop. That's not even remotely like me.
I hate to sound corny but... What we have between us is weird and even eerie. We talk about it a lot now. How we have this chemistry that is so hard to resist. When we touch it takes us to somewhere... I don't know.... It's like we stop being bodies and it's our souls that are connecting. It really is an amazing thing. Soooo corny. Soooo corny I KNOW. But it's true. And I thought it was just what I was feeling. I thought "he's just talented in the bed. I've just never had sex that good". But he's told me he feels it too.
MD is married.
MD is a bad boy (always in trouble and doing stints in jail)
MD drinks too much
Sometimes I think
It could be possible
We were meant
I have a boyfriend...
So... At least I've experienced something so unexplainablely amazing that words do it no justice.