Ok. I'm still having an issue. But its okay. I can get over it just like I get over anything else.
Have I told y'all about the sound? (The Sound is NOT the issue) Now this is very embarrassing but I make a sound when I'm stressed or upset or uncomfortable. It's a gasp. Sometimes it's little. Sometimes It's really loud. Sometimes it sounds like I'm taking my last breath. If I'm in public strangers come to my aid and I have to explain that it's just a nervous tick.
Well another thing about the sound is that people who know about the sound automatically know I'm in some type of emotional distress. So it's hard to hide when something is wrong. So lately I've been freaking out about being at Crab's house again. I am having those not wanting to over-stay my welcome feelings again. So things will be good and we'll be chilling. Watching TV and this is usually when it happens. So I start with the sound. He'll ask what's wrong and I'll either say I don't know or nothing. But he knows that's not true. So I start making the sound then I freak out and try and leave because I just can't stand the thought that he may want me to leave. But when I do that he will say "You're gonna go home and do what?" That lets me relax for a few more minutes sometimes even an hour more.
But I'm not going to stress about it. I've come a long way. And every week I'm seeing growth. I know that I can get over it.