Thursday, October 11, 2012

LURKING

Sigh....

I wish I could get Crab kicked off Instagram FO-EVVVVAAAAA!!!!!!
I knew it was gonna be a problem. For years I never became Facebook friends with him.  He was always really into Facebook.  Definitely a lot more than me.  Like to hear him say "I was on facebook and...." was not uncommon.  He is very sensitive about his social media goings on too.  So that was just one reason I didn't want to be his FB friend.  Cause make the wrong comment on "His Page" and BaaaayBaaaay.... hmph...  And I'm a jokester and I definitely like to antagonize my friends.  So he would not have liked me and my FB comments.  I was FB friends with him for a couple of days when it was his Bday because he likes the Bday messages but then I unfriended him b/c I HATED his FB.  And I got on on his son's bday so that I could like his happy birthday posts to him and wish him happy birthday.  But I HATE HIS FB.

And the primary reason that I don't want to interact with him social medialy is because...

I'm a jealous Monster!  Yup I'm irrational. I am paranoid.  I am exaggeratory. I'm hot headed.  I have an over active imagination.

And I know all of these things about myself.  But it is not enough to just know these things about yourself.  You must be able to CONTROL them.  And that's the problem.  Because you start to question if it is real or not.  If you ignore it will you regret in the future.  Just like someone who hears voices.  They've been diagnosed with schizophrenia but what if this is the ONE time the voice is real and they really should sacrifice the cat to the God of Cotton Candy and his army of flying pigs?  Then you ignore it cause society tells you you're crazy.  But what if the voices were real! Then what!?!?
Ya know?
Like what if that chick on Instagram really did mean "I want to make passionate love to you.  Buy me a ticket to NJ from CA so we can hook up", when she wrote "Good Morning!  Have a good day!"  What if I ignore it and they think they got one over on me with their "Good Morning" codes.

So when IG first became available to us lowly android users we followed each other.
It'll be fun I said (to myself)
No Problem (I told myself)

I LIED

Since the beginning I have blocked, been blocked, followed, unfollowed, been followed, been unfollowed and now, I don't follow.  I'm not followed but...

I STALK

in the morning I want to know what shenanigans were going on on IG while I was sleeping and he was awake (he's awake most of the night so I know he must have been up to Instafuckery)

After I sit down at my desk I stalk because I know that he must have been up to something after he called to wake me up and I while I got dressed and drove to work.   I rarely stalk during the day because I know he's sleeping.  But at around 4pm.  I stalk because I know his granddaughter gets off of the school buss at around 3:30 so he may have been up to something between 3:30 and 4:00.  Mind you there is rarely anything to see.  I'm stalking for comments from his followers

@InstaSkank : oh @Crab you're so crazy

@me How dos this skank know he's so crazy?  Stupid YOU DON/T EVEN KNOW HIM

@InstaHoe: @Crab good morning Sweetie

@me:  This Hoe has about one more time to Good Morning Sweetie before I say something

@InstaSkeezer:  You know you are so sexy in hats @Crab can we get more hat pics
@Crab: Thanks love @InstaSkeezer.  If you keep pressing that like button!
@InstaSkeezer: Oh you know that!

@me: Oh yeah?  Really? Really?

There was a time when I would call him up and go bat shit crazy.  Now I suck it up and swallow it. (Typical me huh.  Literally.  I'm so nasty) . I don't do that anymore.  But if he asks what issues I have with it I go on a rant and then say.

But I don't care.  I don't care.  Do you!  Have fun!  I'm real life! I don't care.  I'm not even gonna look anymore.

And I mean it. Until later. And then
I STALK
And he knows I do because one time...
I accidentally liked a picture.
GASP!

6 comments:

  1. LOL I love your posts! I can't get into the whole FB, Instagram thing. I guess it's because I don't take pictures. If I were thinner, I'd be all over it.

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  2. Funny....very funny.

    I make it a point to not follow my significant other....though I believe she does look through my posts occasionally. Though, I suppose we all do a little stalking or lurking from time to time.

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  3. Ahhhhh you sound just like me :X

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    Replies
    1. Yay! I'm not alone. Craziness loves company!

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  4. lol! Good Morning codes, woof!

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  5. oh we all lurk. my ex chick wouldn't follow me on shit, but she'd occasionally mention a conversation i had with someone on some social media site that she "doesn't follow me on". i got in trouble because one of the chicks i followed had a sexy avi. she believed in the "good morning codes" too. smh..

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