So last night I tweeted about Crab while he was talking. When I left he got on twitter and came across said tweets and called me and was like "I see your going in on me on twitter." I had said
The story is always prefaced with "before i met you..." ugh! I cant... not the time of the month for stories about bitches...
I tried to laugh it off. He said he has to start his stories like that because if he didn't Id be all "who is she" and get all jealous. But have we noticed I've been off that jealousy shit lately? But I had decided to blog out my frustrations.
Well after I ranted on the blog I then called Crab and told him that I feel like a sexual object and that is all I am to him.
He seemed shocked.
He said well maybe we should take a break from sexual things and I said that makes no sense. In actuality it did make perfectly good sense but not to an irrational me.
He said he needed to process it. I said "Process it? Yeah whatever..." and I hung up. Then I called him at 7am saying forget what I said. Don't process any thing. It doesn't matter. He said "It does matter. I had no clue you felt that way. That's not good. You can't just say forget it. Why is it ok to forget? You obviously feel that way to even say something like that." I babbled about it not mattering and it is what it is and so forth and so on and it not being his responsibilty and lines drawn in the sand and basically a bunch of sentences that made not even one complete thought. He told me he would call when he got into work because he needed to understand how me feeling that way could not matter.
When he called I pretended like none of these conversations occured and said "OMG Crab you are so quiet!" And he said "I'm still waiting on you to help me understand." I then went into more babbling.
Last night I had asked him to come with me to a party and he asked what kind of party? And who else is going? And that pissed me off which was the catalyst to me saying I was a sexual object. Really I felt vulnerable by asking him to do something with me and freaked when I thought there could be even the slightest semblence of rejection. I explained this to him along with some more half ass rationale and then asked him to say something. He said "I don't know what to say". Which my crazy ass assumed meant "ur exactly right and I'm just gonna say I don't know what to say to avoid you realizing you are just a sexual object."
Have I ever told you all I turn into a complete nutcase when I get my period. Sometimes it comes out angry other times super emotional and crying and loving sooooo much. Most of my feelings of being angry are gone but now I must clean up my mess. I hope this doesn't affect my reward because I was supposed to get rewarded for my good behavior and not acting crazy and then I go and act crazy! But I did blame my period.He said he didn't know I had my period. But he shpuld have known. He should be able to see the crazy patterns by now.
So.... Um ah... Er....Yeah...... that's what I did today.