Tuesday, December 6, 2011

The Sex

I felt like I should speak a little more about the sex stuff because I'm not even sure who's reading anymore or what they know.
I think I explained how I feel about the spitting.  The spitting in the mouth like I said makes me feel close to him.  It feels kind of like bonding to me.
The spitting in the face just turns me on.  When I first met Crab he had given me a stack of porn to watch.  There is this one chick Bella Donna and I liked her.  Crab said he liked her too because she was nasty.  I realized that was what appealed to me about her too.  And one day while I was sucking his dick he kept telling me how nasty I was.  He kept calling me a nasty bitch.  And it turned me on to know I was being nasty like Bella Donna.  Id never had a man talk to me like that. It had never occured to me how much I would like it.  So. One day he said
Open your mouth.  I'm gonna spit it your mouth okay?  I said okay and I opened wide and he spit in my mouth.
I felt electricity through me.  It gave me such a charge.  It tasted good.  He was chewing gum.  The smell of his gum always turned me on because on our first date he talked so closely to me that the smell of his cologne mixed with the smell of his gum smelled so good.  So to taste the gum in his spit tasted like what I had always associated with just the smell or essence of him.  So now his spit is like the essence of him. To me it is sensual and connecting.   Like making love. And the the whole act of it is unusual and and different. I like that about it.
Spitting in my face is just nasty and I love the nastyness of it.

The slapping.  When I get a good hard slap feels like a release.  Relief.  Now I'm in no way saying I'm a cutter.  But I'm not saying that I haven't done it.  Of course I have.  I'm fucked up.  But that's what I would feel anytime I ever did that. (which might be like twice like 19/20 yrs ago) Relief.  I like to experience physical pain if I feel emotional pain because it makes the pain more tangible.  The idea of slapping came from the spitting.  The spitting got my mind going.  It made me realize I had another part to my sexuality that I never explored.  And to learn this while I was involved with someone who was so open to sexuality was perfect.  If I said to him it would really turn me on if rubbed me with ketchup and corn flakes he wouldn't even bat an eye.  He would go get the ketchup and corn flakes.  That's something I love about him.  He realizes different people like different things.  He also likes to see women enjoy sex.  So anyway I had no problem looking up at him one night and telling him slap me.  He asked if I was sure.  I told him yes and he did.  I'd never ever been slapped before by anyone.  So it was a bit of a shock.  My face was stinging so bad.  So I told him slap the other side.  I'm a libra. I need balance.  That balanced the sting out. 
When I got home he called and said he was a little uncomfortable and didn't understand where it came from. I told him I had been thinking about it and wanting it but if it made him uncomfortable than he didn't need to do it again.  He said it was ok. He just needed to know where it came from.  Ever since then that's what we've done.
Then something told me I wanted to be on a leash.  So... we got a leash. And I like that a lot too.  When I have the leash on, every now and then he'll yank me away from his dick and I struggle for a second to get back to it.I love submission.  Its not only the feeling of belonging to him that I love but I also feel protected and safe.  Its an extreme feeling of well being.  It feels like being nurtured. 
We also use toys.  There a big dildo that he likes to see me fuck myself with.  It's REALLY big.  Like an arm. So big that I can't put it in myself.  He has to start it.  It took a while for me to do it.  He would just say next time your gonna use it.  And then one time it was the next time.  I get very little pleasure from the dildo.  But there are times when I enjoy it more than others and there are times when I want it.  There is also the glass dildo that we've used on me anally.  I fuck myself with the dildo while he fucks my ass with the glass dildo.
And then there is straight up him fucking me in the ass which we both like.  I like to play with my clit while he does it and it makes me cum sooooooo hard! He seems to cum when I do I think from hearing how good it is to me.
Yup that is our sex life

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