I need constant validation which really
A)Historically not the case because NO ONE ever gave me validation before
AND
B)Is extremely difficult in my situation.
And sitting here typing this I can hear Crab saying "That's not good..." Which is something he says often when we are discussing yours truly.
"That's not good."
Friday PIC and I went out. We both got drunk. She threw up in her driveway. I fell asleep in my car in my driveway. Both of us off of like a drink and a half... I ended up with Crab and I couldn't perform shall we say. I kept asking what was wrong why he didn't like it. He got annoyed and didn't want it at all after that. I felt defeated and a bit like a failure. Saturday went ok. I explained how upset it made me that I couldn't effectively do my job Friday. Then Sunday, he really didn't pay much attention to me. We talked a couple of times. But the fact that he didn't call me Saturday night and then all day Sunday until I called him around 5 made me feel awful. terrible. Low down in the dumps. And now... I'm feeling awful just because. I think I need a real boyfriend. I know I do. I think I'm gonna try the dating talk again. LOL! Now that made me laugh! Cause we know how the dating talk goes. But hey. Why not try. Maybe he's changed his mind. Maybe he's sick of me and would like someone to take me off his hands!
I probably should go brush up on my ManFives
HAPPY MONDAY!
lol @ brush up on your manfives.
ReplyDeletei've never heard of a woman "not being able to perform..." you must have been TORE DOWN DRUNK..lol.
stop downing yourself. you had an off night. don't put too much pressure on yourself. as for the real boyfriend...you def, need a real boyfriend. as in..whoever your spending your time with should start acting like your real boyfriend. don't shortchange yourself. you don't need validation from anyone except God, and you already got that. so live life, enjoy life. and if you're not being made to feel happy...then find out what it is that will make you happy & do it. we only have one life. we only have one mind. don't lose both trying to please others.
By perform I mean I couldn't give good head.
ReplyDeleteOh and thanks for the pep talk UN!
ReplyDelete