So MzP has a... well had a boyfriend. MzP is 36. So she and this dude who "works" on the corner across the street from Basic's (her oldest daughter) apartment were together. Well he referred to her as "His Lady". So any ways. They were hot and heavy for a couple of weeks, which she likes to refer to as a couple of months. She loves that he is a bad boy and the bully of the block. He likes to fight and people are scared of him. And he's making all of this money. I tried to explain to her that he was ON THE BLOCK he ain't making money like that. She said he pulled out a wad. Again I tried to explain to her that THAT AIN'T HIS MONEY! She said he spent a $100 on a room like it was nothing. Um... If your dude is balling he may be spending thousands like nothing. A hundred... naw... he's a worker bee Ma'Lady.
Anyway. So last week she calls... she needs advice... Debo (That's what I call him) never wants to go anywhere. By the way Debo is 28 and just got home a year ago. He said he did an 8 year bid but she looked him up on inmate lockup and he actually only did a year and a half.
ANYWAY....
So Debo always turns her down. She wants to go to a wine tasting and he doesn't. I'm like MzP. Are you FUCKING STUUUUUPID?! You trying to take a straight up NIGGA who sells drugs in one of THEEEE worst parts of Newark to a WINE TASTING? Why the fuck are you wasting my time with this shit. You think that shit would be fun? Take it from a former dumbass who used to drag her thug nigga into regular people places and get the fuck embarassed out of me EVERY TIME. It was YO this and YO that. He would try and speak proper which he couldn't do well, and end up sounding like an effeminate DMX. And he would throw in "per se" incorrectly OFTEN... per se.
So today she calls. They broke up... She found out he's a Blood. Yup... go figure... Who would have thought! o_O But no. That's not why they broke up. When she found out he was in a gang she told him she had to rethink the relationship because she'd been with a dude in a gang before and didn't like it. "What's his name" he asks. She tells him. Debo says he knows him. she asks how he is. "Dead" he tells her. Then he says that's his cousin and now he can't be with her. She says "but he ain't here." He said nope. That's my family. I cant fuck with you now.
And so MzP is single again...
OMFG I CANNOT STOP LAUGHING. This ones priceless. I'm not mad at you for going all silent these past few weeks now 'cause you came back with a gem :)
ReplyDeleteLaki. Your blog rarely lets me comment. Blogger is BUGGIN!
ReplyDeleteWhuuuuttt..... I don't know what to tell ya, except Blogger MUST be buggin. Lemme know if you keep havin issues.
ReplyDeletePS:
Your girl is a trip. I was havin all kinds of mental pictures of ol' dude at a wine tasting o_0