Monday, January 30, 2012

Last day

So today was my last day out of work.  We had breakfast as usual and watched movies. And talked.  Talked about me a lot.  I think he thinks I'm out doing crazy things since I've changed the way I move.  I'm not doing anything crazy though. But I've changed because its time for change.  Believe me I'm far from a stupid girl.  I see the fuckedupidness of my situation and I have no choice but to make some changes when I'm no longer happy with it. I'll stay in something as long as I'm comfortable. But I'm the type that can't be in a situation that I don't have control over.  I guess this is one reason I can't get really close to people because I need control.  So especially after the no visit thing I gotta reclaim some things.  I'm no longer comfortable. I've got to reclaim my feeling of freedom.  I was feeling commited.  Obligated.  And that's fine as long as its reciprocal.  So by doing things like going out alone, having Smooth over, going out with Writer I'm reiterating to myself these things are fine for a single woman.  And so are my dealings with Homeboy.  I am commited and obligated to being honest and upfront.  And that is the limit of my obligations.  

But I'm really gonna miss the time that Crab and I spent together.  I have picture from my view laying in the bed to remember it by.

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