I know this all seems very fucked up. And essentially it is. But imagine if these things didn't happen. Imagine if I didn't have these reminders. I would allow all that other stuff to let me let go and love him in a way my feelings could really be hurt. All of these things say to me
Yes it appears he's your boyfriend to the naked eye. But when you stop and look closely...
HE'S NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND
He's not THE ONE FOR YOU. And you are not THE ONE FOR HIM.
I'm very hurt and very angry that he has not come to see me. When he lectures me on the phone about what I should or should not be doing I am screaming explatives at him at the top of my lungs in my head.
But I would rather have flat out truth. And the flat out truth is no matter what he says, no matter how many times he has said I love you...
He doesn't love me enough. He doesn't care enough.
And that is one of the most valuable things I have. The truth of the matter.