Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Last Night's Crab Kicking Coincidences

Sometimes men at The Spot try and get with your girl Diana, and to do it, some of them try to kick Crab's back in.  I mean it is known and unknown that I am his, you know.  We front like we aren't messing around but in the end the deal is known.  So here's the thing.  If you hang with Crab and laugh with Crab and shake hands with Crab and then you talk bad about Crab to me to try to get me...


What makes you think that if I've been messing with this man for damn near 3 years I'm gonna let you talk shit about him and not tell him?  A couple of people have learned the hard way.

Incident 1
Y'all remember Sponsor? He was all "I think your relationship with Crab is one sided.  You should see how many women he talks to."  Now I always see Crab talking to the ladies.  No biggie. (this was before I was the jealous monster that I can be nowadays) 

So I already knew he was scared of Crab.  Crab is big muscle wise so he can look intimidating.  Here he is with his face blocked out to protect the innocent (he's a little bigger now. Pic for a limited time.  I'mma take it off eventually)

But Sponsor used to always text me that he was at The Spot that Crab was looking at him.  And I'd be like "Is he trying to intimidate you?"  then he'd get macho and be like "I don't let any man intimidate me.... blah blah blah."  Mind you, Crab had no problem with Sponsor.  He didn't even know that I spoke to Sponsor like that.  Sponsor was just nervous as hell cause he knew what he was trying to do.  

So I don't know how or when but I told Crab.  Sponsor said Blah blah blah.  Crab was mad!  He said he broke guy code and if he wanted me he should get me on his own without talking bad about Crab and that sponsor didn't know how serious me and Crab could have been and what if we were engaged and he messed up our relationship...  So from then on Crab just dead stopped talking to Sponser.  Not a hello what's up nothing. And I told Sponsor straight up... I told Crab what you said. 

Incident 2
Another dude that laughs and jokes and would hang with Crab at The Spot OC (stands for Over Confident).  Well OC one night was talking and flirting with me.  Mind you, the first time I'd met him was when he was with a chick I knew Vendy.  Vendy had come to celebrate my birthday at The Spot last year.  OC and Vendy were hugged up and touching and kissy and shit.  Well then after that I'd see OC on a regular basis there.  One night he was with his boss, Cub and he introduced me to him. 

So anyway I was there alone.  I don't know if Crab was there or not but sometimes I would go dolo.  So OC sits next to me.  He buys me a drink.  No biggie cause guys there always buy me drinks.  Then he says dun Dun Duuuuuun

"I know you mess with that Al B. Sure looking Nigga.  I can't stand him"

And I'm like 
"I don't think you really even know him not to like him.  You know you done fucked up right?  You know that right?" (Menace to Society)  and I turn my back to him.

Oh Oh Oh!  Crab wasn't there that night.  Cause as soon as I got home I was all bing bing bing (that's me dialing the phone) 

"Yooooooooo!   You know what the NWord OC said...?!?!?!"

From then on when OC would try and talk to Crab , Crab would just ig him.  He tried to give Crab dap Crab gave him him elbow and not his hand.  One day OC said to Crab "Yo we cool?"  And Crab was like "I thought we were" 

So last Night me and Sis went to the bar/strip club The Wood and I saw Cub.  So he was like 

Cub: Hey how are you? Where do I know you from
M: The Spot.  You're OC's boss right?
Cub: Yeah.  You have a great memory.  How's he doing?
(This is when that hood side of me popped out.  I get nasty for no good reason sometimes)
M: How the fuck should I know.  Aren't you his boss?  Don't YOU see him everyday?"
Cub:  I thought you know you see him at the Spot...
M: That's all.  I know him from there.  That's it.  You work with him.

Then I leave and who is getting into his car right in front of mine?  Sponsor!  So he says

S: Hey.  How's Crab
S: You know he still won't talk to me cause of you.
M: He probably never will! Take care (I get in the car)

I get home.  Bing Bing Bing (that's me dialing)  So I tell Crab the whole thing and he was like 

"Yo he's lucky I didn't beat his ass!  You should have said..."

And then he went on the long rant of this I should have said, things I would have never in a million trillion years have thought of on my own or will I even remember to say ever, and what he's gonna say when he sees him.


  1. First --- Al B. Sure... Hysterical!!

    Second --- Giiirrrrllll, you better take that pic down. He looks too good to be showin' off, even with the blocked out face!!

  2. Lol! Isn't it niiiiice? When he comes out of the shower with the oil on... mmmmm

  3. Blahahahaha @Al.B.Sure. I'm dying. And everyone says my guy looks like Common (which he does, especially when he's bald)

    I'm with Laki. You need to take that pic down before the thirsty folks come out.

  4. Common mmmmmm. I love me some HIM!