Last night I wrote a long letter to Crab. I just reread it. I must have been very tired and feeling very much in love cause it was ridiculously syrupy sweet. I deleted it. I think this came about because he sounded like he had just seen is dog get run over by a semi. I totally get it though. But depending on how much of a dog lover you are I think what he is going through right now is worst.
Sidebar - if you have not tried the Archer Farms Pineapple and Peach Salsa from Target yet... you are totally missing out
He sounds better today but the situation hasn't changed. I hope he can work this shit out.
I just thought about sucking his toes... out of no where. Made me giggle.
He just called. I'm crying now. I hate that he has to go through this. I hate that he is so depressed. I hate that all of this is not his fault. I hate that his daughter totally fucked him up. I hate that he is avoiding me. He is so depressed that he doesn't really want to see me. Here was the convo
M: Yeah. I called to see if you changed your mind and wanted me to pick you up from the train.
C: No actually Ex (his ex wife) is gonna meet me and come over to get paper work to put the kids back in school
M: Oh Ok. Good (I said good b/c of the grandkids. I'm glad they are back and getting back to their normal lives again. I never tell you guys about them b/c, well they are kids and his business. Y'all understand...)
C: Where's Mini?
M: I didn't pick him up yet.
C: What are you doing?
M: Cooking and playing with my makeup. I wanna see you this week Crab. I know your down and all but it may feel better if you see me.
C: So I get to feel better for like 15 minutes
M: I haven't seen you in like forever... (translation 3 days)
C: I know...
M: And I'll do it how you like it...
C: Oh I know that
M: It's gonna get better.
C: That's what we keep saying but it keeps getting worst.
M: I know it is! You know why?
M: I'm looking in the sky...
M: No. No. Really. I'm looking in the sky and it's like all clouds but there is one greenery hole and in the middle is a rainbow!
THIS IS WHERE I STARTED TO CRY
M: Ok, well I miss you I want to see you.
C: ok. I'm gonna give you a buzz later
M: **Shakey voice trying not to let him hear me cry** okay...
So sensitive. I wish I wasn't. I wish i was one of those strong types that almost never cry. You know that Campbell's soup commercial with the kid who goes to the foster home and he's all sad, then he gets a grilled cheese sammi and a bowl of tomato soup. Yeah that used to invoke at least 5-8 min of bawling.
Anyway. I wish I could fix it. I wish he would take my help. My family knows a lot of people in positions to help. I got him a lawyer who would have given him advice. A lawyer who was just elected county surrogate. He told me he would get his paperwork together and we could call and then he never called back. He should take advantage of knowing me. Not to be funny but for real. It has advantages. Whenever I want certain services for free I use my maiden name. Although my dad says sometimes he wishes I wouldn't. Because when people do things for me for free they call him and say... "I saw Diana the other day." Then they ask him for a favor. Sometimes larger than the favor that was given to me. Mind you I dont ask for free stuff. It's just given gratis. But when I told him about Crab's issue he immediately told me to call his lawyer. He should take the help...