Ramblings

So I really wonder if Crab ever reads this.  If he does he never let's on. I hope he does because that let's me know he wants to know what's going on in this big head of mine.  But I can't really imagine him remembering to read it. Unless of course I blog in front of him.  I haven't done that in a while though but then again, I haven't spent that much time with him in a while either. 

My estranged husband says he will take Mini every weekend for the next three weekends.  I hope number one he is telling the truth and number two Crab spends time with me all of those weekends. Not all of his time. Just a good amount of time.  I hate it when I have time to spend without a rush and he chooses to do something else. Cause I don't always have time, so when I do I want him to want that time. You know?  In my head he has first dibs.  But I want him to take said dibs. Ya'mean?

So I took mini to see his dad (estranged husband) today.  Last night I was hanging with his dads friends and one of them has the biggest mouth. He doesn't have a filter so he's all "Rap was here with his chick earlier..." so its confirmed he has a girlfriend which is great. When he is focused on another woman he is not concerned with being an asshole to me.  So we went over there and I didn't see him lusting after me like usual. I usually avoid going inside because he's always trying to push me down on the couch or pull me onto his lap.  But being that its been over a month since Mini has seen him it decided to let them have a few minutes together.  Everything was cool until Mini walked out the door first so he grabbed me from behind and tried to get as much of a feel that he could.  Terrible.  Then he says he has the right to because I'm still his wife. Ummmmm no buddy. On paper I am!

Anyways, I'm gonna go back to the gym tomorrow.  Hopefully I can sneak in an hour and a half rather than my one hour because before I was doing strictly cardio but I need to add weights into that. 

I know its been said that the only way I can acheive what I want is with a tummy tuck but I certainly have packed on some pounds and I'm sure I can get rid of that and see how far I can get to my goal with hard work.

I just want to feel confident again.  And I'll get there I'm sure.