Wednesday, April 27, 2011

I want some cheesecake

Hmmmm... I don't know what to say these days. I hate to harp on the same shit all the time. (Not that I have anything to harp about at the moment) And there really is no need to. Sometimes in life regardless of what a person feels about their situation they are in it because they want to be in it.  Its a choice. And I guess that is me right now.  I complain. I whine. I come on here and throw the biggest and best pity parties complete with goody bags and all. But I am where I choose to be.

Taking a step forward would be devasting for me.  Devastating. I am dealing with my mother's health issues, changing jobs, improving my health so my father can get a healthy kidney.   Losing the person who makes me laugh. The person who listens to me cry.  The person who encourages me. Can't do it.  That sounds so selfish. Like I want our friendship just for those reasons... but my day to day is happy.  And a very large part of that daily happiness comes from Crab.  Its stability.  One thing I can count on. On a bad day I can count on knowing I will be encouraged. On a good day knowing that someone is going to smile with me. Laugh with me. And I love laughing with him.  I haven't had that in a long time. I didn't know until my wedding day 9 years into the relationship that my husband had a chipped tooth. Crazy right? But he never smiled around me. Never. So to smile with Crab and laugh with Crab feels so good.

I want strawberry cheesecake.  Uh huh... I do. I can almost taste it! See that's where I would have called my boyfriend and asked him to go to Tops Diner and get me some cheesecake.  But it will happen. But for now I'm happy that I can call up my Crab and get a good laugh. And my fat ass doesn't need any damn cheesecake anyway! :)

1 comment:

  1. I know how you feel, it can be hard to let go of the one person who makes your bad days better. I'm sorry that you have so much going on in your family life. I'll be praying for you girl, keep your head up!