Sunday, March 13, 2011

I want my Cake!

I want to find out what a real relationship feels like, but i don't want to lose Crab in order to find that out.

Apparently having both is not an option. There was a time when it could have been that way. There was a time I would tell him I was going out on a date and it was nothing. Apparently that time has come to an end.

I told Crab about my upcoming date with Rome. I know some may question why I would do such a thing. For any one who doesn't know, Crab and I are honest. Well I can only truly vouch for myself, but we have an understanding of honesty. And so i told him. He understood, but said he couldn't just sit back while i date. understandable. But I thought we would still be friends... I figured he couldn't carry on the physical but we would keep everything else. He says we cant.

I have to admit that i was excited about the possibility of finding a 100% relationship. But I don't know if I'm ready to lose one of my best friends for it yet.

I cried out all of my energy. I can barely even type anything more...

6 comments:

  1. Hey lady! Ruh roh....sounds like Crab has feelings beyond that of simply friends. Seems like he's speaking volumes by telling you he's not willing to stand by, have you had that discussion (taking it to the next stage)? No one who has an emotional connection to another wants to take second place, whether real or imagined so I definitely understand how he feels. It'll work out...may take some work though :-)

    *Sorry if I'm repeating anything you've already told us.*

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  2. No i totally appreciate your insight. I definitely think (know now) that he does. Its only fair to him not to ask him to sit idley by why I explore other options. But regardless of my want to have both sides of the coin I think it may be time to make some serious decisions. I can't be his "special friend" forever... I need the whole enchilada eventually. But I think my want and love for him makes me want to sacrifice that to keep him in my life.

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  3. I think you should move on from Crab. He wont make a commitment to you, yet he doesnt want you to date anyone else. Thats not fair to you, you can be missing out on a great relationship with Rome & Crab may never commit. That's just my opinion, but obviously make the best decision for yourself.

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  4. Oh Poppy, you are a wise woman.

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  5. I know I am behind here and am about to read some more, but this post is a big ol' red flag. That is a controlling and manipulating move. I hope you don't fall for it. You deserve it all and Crab isn't giving it to you. Do what makes you happy.

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  6. Hey Secret! I don't know... I think he was being reasonable. Thinking if it were reversed would I want to sit by while he opwnly sees other people? That would be hard and hurt like hell honestly.

    But in the end I did what makes me happy. Crab. He makes me very happy.

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