Friday I took a half day so I could have a little special time with my Mini. We went to the mall and I let him pick out a hat from Lids and get his name put on it. I bought him Sneakers... the most impractical sneakers ever. They were white on white on white on white. But they were what he wanted so I bought them. It was a special little day. I didn't bark at him (like I do a lot) I didn't rush him. I just enjoyed him. It was so special to me and so special to see how much he loved the stuff I bought him.
Sooooo......
Last night I was in the kitchen, cutting my veggies for today and Mini comes in and says to me.
"Did Daddy buy me these sneakers and this hat?"
M: Why would you say that?
"I asked daddy why he never buys me anything and he says he paid for my hat and my sneakers."
I told him to go watch tv and I immediately picked up the phone.
M: Hello. Don't you ever tell Mini that the things I do for him are because of child support.
X; I didn't...
M: No you did. You told him that you paid for the hat and sneakers I bought him.
X: I didn't say that I paid for it. That's not what I...
M: Listen, I'm not gonna play a game of what exact words you said to him. We both know what you were insinuating. He is seven years old and child support is none of his business.
I shelter him, I make sure he has breakfast lunch and dinner, I pay for before care, I pay for after care, I pay for boxing, I pay for golf lessons, I pay for camp. I pay for extras. I take care him. And it's hard to do all by myself. I waited for my payday and took time off of my job to go get him those sneakers and that hat. And you try and take claim for that? Don't you ever try and diminish the things I do for him by telling him it's because of money I got from you.
X: Okay
Then I hung up
This NWord better realize I am not the same person that let him treat me like shit and he better not mess with me.
My friend goes through a similar thing with her son's father. I wonder though, what do you tell your son about his father's contribution? Cause the child support does cover some things.
ReplyDeleteWell it's really none of his business. He's 7. He knows his father pays child support. But he isn't able to understand the concept. And he shouldn't be made to. He's 7. He will begin to be able to understand things on his own as he gets older. And mind you. I was with this man for 9 years where he paid for Nothing. Not even his own car payment. I paid for everything. Every bill every expense every meal. He has paid child support for 6months. Before that I had to beg him for $175/month for half of aftercare at which point he laughed and said "Go to child support" So I have yet to feel that his contribution deserves any significant recognition.
DeleteHis father's actions are becoming apparent to him which is why he most likely asked why he never buys him anything. Nothing for his birthday. Nothing for Christmas. He doesn't come to graduations, basketball games. He doesn't call him. He doesn't initiate visitation. When I say "you haven't talked to your son in 2 weeks" he says "He could have called me. It works both ways." My son is 7. He shouldn't be responsible for the father son relationship.
His child support basically covers enough for aftercare. It's not enough to even be half of my son's expenses. He really doesn't deserve credit for the basics. I don't get special credit from my son for basics.
He totally out of line to say something to him like that. Let a child be a child.
ReplyDeleteExactly
DeleteI agree that children shouldn't be spoken to about "grown" matters like child support. When I was younger, my mom talked to me about all the money that my dad never sent, and now that I'm older, I resent her in a way because of that. Kids should be kids, and the parents should settle whatever issues they have on their own.
ReplyDeleteKudos to you for reading him. The money is only a part of it; your son wouldn't be asking questions like that if your ex spent more time with him. And your ex has some audacity to take credit for something he knows he didn't do.
ReplyDelete