Well party people its Friday. That means Crab is about 78 hours late. I expected to see him when I woke up Tuesday after the surgery. Everyday he has loosely mentioned the possibility of coming to see me. I'm now out of the hospital and at my mother's house. Day 2 at my mothers. I gotta be honest Tuesday I was heart broken. Wednesday I was disappointed and by today I could care less. I wish he wouldn't do the whole he's gonna see if he can come see me thing. Its pointless. He has nothing but time. There's pretty much no excuse. People do what they want to do and they don't do what they don't want to do. Point blank period. So I really don't want anyone coming to see me who doesn't want to. That's not my idea of a good time.
Homeboy called this morning.
H: what are you doing?
H: how come you didn't call me and remind me.
M: its okay it doesn't matter
H: its not okay!
M: yeah it is. I called you last week and I texted you. You didn't call back. You didn't text back what am I supposed to do?
H: you texted for me to have a drink with you. It was late.
M: ok then you say that. You don't just not answer and call me a week later.
I then changed the subject and told him about that night. The night I told him to have a drink with me. That was that night with dudes asking if I was a dancer there. That's his hangout. He told me next time I need to say that my boyfriend comes there a lot and would not like it and be sure to tell them his name. Lol! I told him to come see me but he didn't want to come to my mother's. He's so silly. I told him my mothers not even thinking about him. I know she is wondering why Crab hasn't been around though.
I told Crab about the convo with Homeboy. I want to know why Homeboy does this. If he liked me he would make an effort. But then he just keeps coming back. Why? Why does he keep coming back to not do anything? What is the point. There is no reason d'etre to the cycle. I could see if there were wild passionate moments. But no. There is no deep meaningful history. Just fantasies about the future. So what's the point?
But you know what? I'm not even caring anymore...