Friday, December 9, 2011

SHUT IT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay so yesterday was fairly productive.  Brought cupcakes to my son's school.  Put up the Christmas tree, cleaned cleaned cleaned.  Then went and scooped up my Crab.  We ran errands.  I now want to fight the girls in the bank because they were real extra with the telling him how good he smelled.  Really extra and he was eating that shit up.  He was.  And then he got a haircut.  Then I dropped him at the accountant (Cat Daddy)  and I went and got Mini, bought him some pizza and then by that time Crab was done and Me and Mini went to get him.  Then we went to Walgreen's.  Then me and Mini went home and played his new Wii that he got for his birthday.  Today me and Crab are gonna get him a couple of games.

Crab is a Passenger Seat driver if I ever had one.  My God!

C:  Why didn't you make that right?
M: You didn't tell me to.
C:  You need someone to say it?
M: Yes....
C:  No you don't.  You don't need me or anyone to tell you what to do.

***Five minutes later I'm pulling into Walgreens***

C:   Don't park over there.
M:  Yeah I'm parking over there.
C:   Park right there
M:  No I wanna park...
C:  Didn't I tell you to park right there?
M: I thought I didn't need anyone telling me what to do....

Here are a couple of his favorites that STAY on repeat.

"Could you please stop riding dude's bumper?  Cause I don't wanna hear your mouth when he slams on the brake"
"Why is he riding his brakes!?  Don't do that you'll ruin your brakes"
"You know stopping distances are greater on wet pavement"
"Go.  Go.  After this car...  Ahhhh  what are you doing?  I'm telling you because I'm the one who can see!  You need new glasses!"
"Oh so you stop on yellow's now?"
"Cut the wheel.... Cut the wheel..."
"Go straight.  None of your 'shortcuts' today"

I have been driving with a valid NJ driver's license for 17yrs.  I swear the only time he gets on my nerves is when I'm driving.


  1. lol crab sounds like me! I will now be shutting up and enjoying the ride lol.

  2. @Diamondgirl - LOL! Independently Responsible Drivers worldwide thank you!

  3. OMG that's totally Rabbit. I'm usually the one who drives 'cause I hate his slow azz driving, and he's got somethin' to say about my driving habits all day errday. I can take most of it in stride, but there are times when I wanna boot his azz out at the traffic light. For reals.

  4. It's the opposite, Sir Darkness is the crazy man when it comes to driving. I come a close second but yeah since we're both crazy. I just keep my mouth shut and my eyes closed in certain spots..

  5. @Laki He drives me crazy!

    @Nony oh boy both of y'all drive CRAY?!