Breakthrough

Oh Nony you would be so proud of me.  I totally let my guard down 100%! It felt so good!  For the first time IN TWO YEARS I kissed him passionately.  Its been two years! He was shocked. Pleasantly I think.

He's such a good kisser too!

It felt so good.

I kissed him and I touched him

And

Wait for it...

Wait for it...

I hugged him

And I let myself feel love for him.

I looked in his eyes.

And I smiled at him.

And I wasn't afraid.

And he asked what brought this on.  And I told him

I'm not afraid anymore

And he told me

You shouldn't be

Tonight I'm going to sleep peacefully.  I've finally come to the bridge and I crossed it.  It was spontaneous. It wasn't contrived of planned.  It was real.

Thank you universe for finally putting me in a place where I can feel freely. Thank you!

I feel like I've broken free!

I'm free