Wednesday, October 26, 2011

A story about someone other than me

So I wanna tell you all about my friend Trapped.  By the end off the story you will know why that's her name.

I met Trapped five years ago when Mini was 2.  She was working at a home day care that I sent Mini to.  She was always sweet and as time went by I would spend more and more time talking to her when I would pick up Mini.  She is from Trinidad and was here going to school and staying with friends of her family.  She was a little shy and didn't know anyone or have any friends.  I would give her rides home some nights.  We became friends and I took her under my wing like a little sister. 

After a while I started to notice how unhappy she was with her job and how she was treated.  She was no longer going to school because her visa had run out and she was then in the country illegally.  I told her if she wanted to I would pay her the same $150/wk and she could watch my son at her place during the day.  I even got my friend to do the same. 

One day she told me about boy she'd started seeing.  His name was Spirit.  He sounded great! She was glowing.  His family was from Trinidad too.  Things seemded to be going well.  Then she found out that he was a couple of years younger than her.  I think she was nineteen and he was seventeen.  She chose to still stick with it. Eventually the honeymoon period faded as it always does but nothing too bad.  Spirit came from a family of seventh day aventist.  They were very strict and Spirit started expecting Trapped to conform to their standards.  He no longer wanted her wearing makeup or jewelry.  They expected her to come to church and observe the sabbath.  It wasn't how she was raised but she went along with it anyway.

Then Trapped got pregnant.  Even though he was young still not out of highschool he was excited and wanted her to keep the baby.  The family that Trapped was living with had two young daughters.  They told her that her being pregnant and not married was a bad example for their daughters and that she would have to leave.  By this time Spirit had graduated highschool and got a job.  They got an apartment together.  I threw them a baby shower and along came their son.  They made me godmother which went against Spirit's family tradition of family members.  But still things were ok.  His family definitely had their issues with her.  They were jealous, possesive and controlling. 

There was one instance where Trapped became very sick.  Like a terrible flu.  She was almost in and out of conciousness at times.she would start to get better and then she would get terribly sick again.  She eventually went to the hospital.  It seemed as though she was being poisoned.  When she thought about it, she was was getting sick after eating food Spirit's mother would bring to her.  And only her.  And she confirmed it when she didn't eat the plate of food they had brought he and Spirit ate it and beca?e violently ill. 

Eventually spirit and Trapped got married and within about a month he went off to the army.  After bootcamp he came back for Trapped and they were off to Georgia.  And then he was off to Afgahnastan.  She was lonrly and never really did make friends.  I was sure she would being on base and all but it was just pretty much her and her son.  No friends no family.  But she was working off and lost all her baby weight plus more. She looked (looks) amazing!  And Spirit came home!

From the pictures on Facebook things were great. She looked hot! They were taking trips and vacations.  I was glad to see things were well.  Then one day I read her FB status and something just didn't seem right.  I called.  I was right. She cried and cried telling my about what a tyrant he had become. He was violent and masonjinistic. It was bad.  But she had a trip coming up.  She was going home to Trinidad.  And she wasn't planning on coming back.

I told her to call me anytime she needed.

Well she called today.  She tried the whole staying in Trinidad thing and he threatened to press charges against her for child abduction.  So se came back.  He has been torturing her, doing things like disconnecting the electricity so she would have no access to the computer and he cancelled her cell phone.  While she was gone he'd bought a house in the middle of nowhere.  No neighbors close.  She had no idea where she was or how to contact anyone. 

Today she went to meet with somone on base to talk about Spirit's abusive behavior. But because she has no concrete evidence (picture of bruises) only photos of holes he's punched in the walls they say the most they can do for her is give him a 1 month hold where he would have to stay on base and give her one month to get herself together and leave.  But here's another thing.  Just because you get married doesn't mean you get citizenship.  That only happens after 3 years. So her green card expires in February and she'll need him to sign for it's renewal. So now she's just trapped...

I feel so bad. I want to tell her to come home to Jersey but after leaving my husband I'm still trying to get my shit together...

Poor her :(


  1. She really should go or look into shelters. No sense in staying some place with someone so abusive. She would be safer in Trinidad. I would pick my baby up and bounce. Or she can try to capture some evidence of him being abusive.

  2. Well she's sticking around now because she needs his signature for her to be able to renew her greencard. Otherwise she would have to leave her son here. He's more emotionally and verbally abusive than physically so she just needs to stick ot out for that. You can't just bounce with a kid to another country. She tried that already