Oh God... he wants to be together. Homeboy says he wants to be together... I'm scared... what is going to happen?
Oh... I went back to look for posts about Homeboy but there were none. I'm imagining he is from before I deleted everything and started over. So.... here goes a homeboy cliffnotes
Summer 2009 I think. I went to a cookout with my girls. We walked straight to the back but there weren't enough seats so I was standing. There were some guys sitting there too and I saw him. He was just my type and so so fine. He got up from his seat and brought a chair to me. I thanked him and my heart kind of skipped a couple of beats. He was absolutely the first person i'd found attractive since getting involved with Crab. I told my friends I had to have him. There was no way I was leaving without his number. That's when I started ultimate thirst. Staring. Looking him up and down. Major major signals. But there was another guy chatting me up so I made sure to stare past him and look Homeboy dead in his eyes never taking my gaze off of him. As soon as other dude left for a second Homeboy swooped in. He was sweet. A little shy even.
We hit it off immediately. But there was one little thing. He was 7 years younger than me. Like I said before he comes from a great family and he's a single dad of a little boy who will be 4 in March. Anyway. We really hit it off. Eventualy he was telling me he loved me. He wanted to marry me asap because he wanted kids with me and apparently I don't have much time! He said he wasn't ready to meet me. He hadn't been ready to find the person he wanted to spend his life with. Mind you I never gave up the coche cause I don't go around passing out bodyparts.
So anyway... we did have a makeout session that came close. A little after that he started disappearing. Two days... a week... a couple of months... he would say how sorry he was. How bad he wanted to be with me abd then he would disappear again. Eventually over a year. Until today.
I never held a grudge. He is young. But I swear it was like we picked back up right where we left off. And he said "we should just be together." I said "yeah but I just don't know what's up with you." He said he doesn't either. I told him when he figures it out I hope I'm the first one he calls. We then talked for hours and he promised to call me tomorrow at work.
He is the only one I've ever wanted other than Crab over these past few years I've been single. He's the only other one I had any type of feeling for. I don't know how to be cause I'm really happy to talk to him again.
I remember reading about Homeboy back when I was on blogger as CeCe. I know what it's like to have that type of connection with someone. But without ever establishing a new base for a relationship that covers unacceptable behavior (like disappearing), you'll never have the type of relationship you want. All the connection in the world can't fix that. You can't "just be" with someone without developing the trust and communication and mutual respect needed to make it in the long haul. Sorry for the unsolicited advice. :)
ReplyDeleteOh! Hey Girl! I would ask how you've been but I've been catching up on your blog so techinically I know!
ReplyDeleteI totally agree. But I think I might be willing to give him a chance to prove himself. Not be together but show me he can be there and not disappear
Why? I thought you had just announced that you were going to be Crab's gf. But dude waddles in and now that's on hold? I'm a little confused.
ReplyDeleteNony You can't make yourself someones girlfriend.
ReplyDeleteAnd absolutely not on Homeboy. Did I mention how flaky he is.
But I spent my entire 20s chasing after my husband who had no interest in being with me. I've already spent over 2 years up under Crab. In no way am I saying I'm gonna leave him alone now. Especially when he needs my support because I am his FRIEND. But that's what we are. Friends. He is not my man.
If Homeboy shows himself to be ready this time around I definitely see the possibilities.
First, I cosign on Chicagostyle's comment. Second, I cosign on yours. Keep your options open. Especially if you feel like you got that connection. Just give it some time to see how this all fleshes out. And since I wasn't around for the first blog, you gotta dish on more details!
ReplyDeleteYou definitely aren't committed to any one in particular but consistency is key. If Homeboy is still up to his Houdini ways, eh, you have to tap out.
ReplyDelete